Ten things that evolve as you age…

1. After you
   take a drink of anything, you sometimes have to remember to close
   your mouth and swallow. You would think that would be forever
   automatic, but it isn’t.

2. When your
   socks evolve into left and right socks? It is time for new socks.

3. Bending over
   causes a gas, umm, problem…

4. You find
   yourself at the backdoor staring out at the backyard. You know you
   went out there for a reason but you cannot remember what it was. So,
   you close the door, head back to the TV, and then you remember you
   went out there to call the cat to dinner… Or the dog… Or the
   squirrel, whatever pet you have…

5. You wonder
   if there is a health care worker that just ties shoes. Then you
   think: ‘They have those Velcro ones… Or slip-ons!’ Then, in
   the middle of those thoughts you forget what you were doing, sit up,
   pass gas, say excuse me to the empty room, and go back to watching
   the Price is Right…

6. When you get
   up you have to add so many things to yourself to make up the whole
   that you begin to wonder where it all came from…

7. You no
   longer have to brush your teeth, the little plastic bowl and those
   things that look like Alka Seltzer does it for you…

8. Sometimes,
   when you see yourself in the mirror you think ‘Call the cops!’

9. You find
   yourself wondering if anyone can even see those nose hairs that have
   now blended successfully with your moustache. That reminds you to
   check your ears, which have somehow grown to resemble oriental bush
   gardens.

10. You go back
    to the back door to call the cat to dinner, now that you remember
    why you went there in the first place. You call and call, but the
    cat doesn’t come. Just as you are about to give up the cat meows
    from behind you. You jump ten feet (In old-speak that is about an
    inch), pass gas, ask the cat to excuse you, take a heart pill and go
    and feed the cat… Dell…